I got my date!
March 13th, 2008. With Dr. Christine McGinn in Doylestown PA.
I am excited and calm at the same time. But interestingly, at least for now, I am not filled with the kid-before-Christmas feeling like I was when I was pre-FFS.
Transition, by definition, is a temporary condition. It is moving from one state of being to another. In many ways, my procedure will mark the end of my transition. The end of my temporary time between two states of being. So too, this marks the final chapters of "Sandy's Transition" saga.
To be sure, I will still have much to say, both about my surgery and life as a post-op. But perhaps after that I may need a new blog. One where I talk about the mundane things in life as a woman. Gawd, doesn't that sound exciting... NOT!
What does GRS mean to me? I've turned this question over in my mind a lot. I have accomplished ninety percent of everything I wanted when I started my transition. The most imoportant thing to me was, and still is, being a woman in society. And I am that. And living a very happy life as a result. Having GRS will do absolutely NOTHING to affect one way or another how society views me. People on the street, the lady behind the cosmetic counter, and the guy who asks "You want fries with that?" will not look a me any differently than they do now. For the vast majority of them, I am immediately viewed as a woman and that is all. Having a neo-vagina will not do anything to make them see me as more of a woman than they already do. So why do it? Why put yourself through the pain and expense for something that a limited number of people besides your doctor and nurses will ever see?
Do any of you ask yourself that question? Why do it if nobody can tell?
As we like to say, gender is between your ears, not between your legs. Now to be sure, were I to enter into a relationship, having genitalia that is congruent with my psyche and the rest of my body would be important. But right now there doesn't seem to be much chance of that happening anytime soon. And even if there were, they would eventually have to know the truth about me. So if they knew about me they would also possibly accept the fact that I had an "outie" not an "innie".
So why do it?
Because, I know. And every time I go to the 'loo, or take a shower, I am reminded of it again. I have this one last vestige from the time before. And, through the skill and expertise of doctors and surgeons, what was the old has been chiseled away to expose the real person living within all this time. What remains should also be changed, reshaped, and reborn to complete the work. Without it, is like painting the Mona Lisa and not painting the enigmatic smile on her face. The painting would be incomplete. I would be incomplete.
I want to be complete.
I will be complete.
-Sandy
March 13th, 2008. With Dr. Christine McGinn in Doylestown PA.
I am excited and calm at the same time. But interestingly, at least for now, I am not filled with the kid-before-Christmas feeling like I was when I was pre-FFS.
Transition, by definition, is a temporary condition. It is moving from one state of being to another. In many ways, my procedure will mark the end of my transition. The end of my temporary time between two states of being. So too, this marks the final chapters of "Sandy's Transition" saga.
To be sure, I will still have much to say, both about my surgery and life as a post-op. But perhaps after that I may need a new blog. One where I talk about the mundane things in life as a woman. Gawd, doesn't that sound exciting... NOT!
What does GRS mean to me? I've turned this question over in my mind a lot. I have accomplished ninety percent of everything I wanted when I started my transition. The most imoportant thing to me was, and still is, being a woman in society. And I am that. And living a very happy life as a result. Having GRS will do absolutely NOTHING to affect one way or another how society views me. People on the street, the lady behind the cosmetic counter, and the guy who asks "You want fries with that?" will not look a me any differently than they do now. For the vast majority of them, I am immediately viewed as a woman and that is all. Having a neo-vagina will not do anything to make them see me as more of a woman than they already do. So why do it? Why put yourself through the pain and expense for something that a limited number of people besides your doctor and nurses will ever see?
Do any of you ask yourself that question? Why do it if nobody can tell?
As we like to say, gender is between your ears, not between your legs. Now to be sure, were I to enter into a relationship, having genitalia that is congruent with my psyche and the rest of my body would be important. But right now there doesn't seem to be much chance of that happening anytime soon. And even if there were, they would eventually have to know the truth about me. So if they knew about me they would also possibly accept the fact that I had an "outie" not an "innie".
So why do it?
Because, I know. And every time I go to the 'loo, or take a shower, I am reminded of it again. I have this one last vestige from the time before. And, through the skill and expertise of doctors and surgeons, what was the old has been chiseled away to expose the real person living within all this time. What remains should also be changed, reshaped, and reborn to complete the work. Without it, is like painting the Mona Lisa and not painting the enigmatic smile on her face. The painting would be incomplete. I would be incomplete.
I want to be complete.
I will be complete.
-Sandy
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