My dear friends, first let me tell you that I am doing fine and I will be posting pictures soon.
But I wanted to start a thread as part of my transsexual advocacy that is not all giggles and fun.
First remember that I am a transsexual and I have always been a transsexual and I will always be a transsexual. In no way am I questioning my decision to go forward with this nor do I have any doubts that this was the absolute right thing to do. So let's get that straight ok, people?
Given the choice I would do this again without any hesitation. My need to become the woman I know I am is the one thing that has made me sane for perhaps the first time in my life.
What no post-op of any type has mentioned was the shock it was to wake up after surgery. There are many FFS and SRS women on this list and all of them talk about what a thrill it was to finally be who there were meant to be.
Over my next several posts in this thread, I will tell you, while it is still fresh in my head, the way I was unprepared for the pain that would overtake me once consciousness returned and the ongoing pain that I have as I go through the healing process.
Ladies, I have been through some major surgeries in my life. I have experienced some very severe pain in my time. And without going into too much detail, I have a certain level of constant pain for that has been with me for over 25 years. So I thought I was prepared for what would await me when I woke up after surgery.
Not even close.
I'll have posts of what all the fun things that happened in the clinic and the truly extraordinary staff that Dr Zukowski has from the receptionist all the way through to the Doctor himself. He accepts nothing but the absolute best from his staff at all times. The proof in that pudding are his other "Z" girls, and soon myself. I will be a beautiful Z girl and proud of it!. And you don't get that by being mediocre.
No the problem here was absolutely and completely ME. When anesthesia kicks in, it is ***LIGHTS OUT***. There is no drifting off to sleep, no counting backward from 100, nothing. Just the anesthesiologist saying that their about to put you out so they can intubate you.
(By the way, I will be discussing things in blatant medical terms. If you are squeamish about that, move along to one of my happy posts.)
The next thing that occurs is that you really have no knowledge of the passage of time. It is like a light switch. One moment you are off, the next moment you are on. There is no gentle return to consciousness, just like there was no real drifting off to sleep.
You may have your eyes closed or you may not understand what is being said around you. But one thing will be absolutely clear.
YOU WILL BE IN PAIN! Not a little "Oh I've just had an orchiectomy" pain, or "What was the number of the truck that hit me" pain. To my mind there is no description for the level of pain you will feel.
And that will be your closest companion for at least the next twenty four hours. Even with the industrial strength pain relievers they will give you.
There are more nerve endings in the face than there are just about anywhere else in the body. So to my feelings right now even SRS may be less uncomfortable than FFS.
Now you other ladies who've been through both, let me know. Which one caused more discomfort?
I'm going to go with SRS regardless so I guess I'll find out myself soon enough. As I said before nothing is going to stop me.
To you caregivers who will be with your SO's as they go through this. YOU ARE NOT PREPARED either unless you have a nursing or medical background. The amount of support your spouse, friend, acquaintance needs is more than just about anything else you may have had to do for another human being.
Now before you ladies start either running for the exit or get a posse together for a necktie party in my honor, let me again say, I am happier now, though very tender, than I have been in my life.
If I could trade places with reverend butt-head who thinks that this is a sexual turn on or some sort of perversion and that simply reading from scripture will cure me, I would trade with him in a minute and he may not be transsexual but he would come away with a much clearer idea of what we people of two spirits endure just to live.
I didn't want to bring everyones day down, but I am just now able to stay awake long enough to put a sentence together that doesn't sound like I'm a girl from the sixties (which I am by the way).
I just wanted to warn all of you who are contemplating this extreme measure that you will have a very, very rude awakening on that Christmas morning.
-Sandy (much humbled)
But I wanted to start a thread as part of my transsexual advocacy that is not all giggles and fun.
First remember that I am a transsexual and I have always been a transsexual and I will always be a transsexual. In no way am I questioning my decision to go forward with this nor do I have any doubts that this was the absolute right thing to do. So let's get that straight ok, people?
Given the choice I would do this again without any hesitation. My need to become the woman I know I am is the one thing that has made me sane for perhaps the first time in my life.
What no post-op of any type has mentioned was the shock it was to wake up after surgery. There are many FFS and SRS women on this list and all of them talk about what a thrill it was to finally be who there were meant to be.
Over my next several posts in this thread, I will tell you, while it is still fresh in my head, the way I was unprepared for the pain that would overtake me once consciousness returned and the ongoing pain that I have as I go through the healing process.
Ladies, I have been through some major surgeries in my life. I have experienced some very severe pain in my time. And without going into too much detail, I have a certain level of constant pain for that has been with me for over 25 years. So I thought I was prepared for what would await me when I woke up after surgery.
Not even close.
I'll have posts of what all the fun things that happened in the clinic and the truly extraordinary staff that Dr Zukowski has from the receptionist all the way through to the Doctor himself. He accepts nothing but the absolute best from his staff at all times. The proof in that pudding are his other "Z" girls, and soon myself. I will be a beautiful Z girl and proud of it!. And you don't get that by being mediocre.
No the problem here was absolutely and completely ME. When anesthesia kicks in, it is ***LIGHTS OUT***. There is no drifting off to sleep, no counting backward from 100, nothing. Just the anesthesiologist saying that their about to put you out so they can intubate you.
(By the way, I will be discussing things in blatant medical terms. If you are squeamish about that, move along to one of my happy posts.)
The next thing that occurs is that you really have no knowledge of the passage of time. It is like a light switch. One moment you are off, the next moment you are on. There is no gentle return to consciousness, just like there was no real drifting off to sleep.
You may have your eyes closed or you may not understand what is being said around you. But one thing will be absolutely clear.
YOU WILL BE IN PAIN! Not a little "Oh I've just had an orchiectomy" pain, or "What was the number of the truck that hit me" pain. To my mind there is no description for the level of pain you will feel.
And that will be your closest companion for at least the next twenty four hours. Even with the industrial strength pain relievers they will give you.
There are more nerve endings in the face than there are just about anywhere else in the body. So to my feelings right now even SRS may be less uncomfortable than FFS.
Now you other ladies who've been through both, let me know. Which one caused more discomfort?
I'm going to go with SRS regardless so I guess I'll find out myself soon enough. As I said before nothing is going to stop me.
To you caregivers who will be with your SO's as they go through this. YOU ARE NOT PREPARED either unless you have a nursing or medical background. The amount of support your spouse, friend, acquaintance needs is more than just about anything else you may have had to do for another human being.
Now before you ladies start either running for the exit or get a posse together for a necktie party in my honor, let me again say, I am happier now, though very tender, than I have been in my life.
If I could trade places with reverend butt-head who thinks that this is a sexual turn on or some sort of perversion and that simply reading from scripture will cure me, I would trade with him in a minute and he may not be transsexual but he would come away with a much clearer idea of what we people of two spirits endure just to live.
I didn't want to bring everyones day down, but I am just now able to stay awake long enough to put a sentence together that doesn't sound like I'm a girl from the sixties (which I am by the way).
I just wanted to warn all of you who are contemplating this extreme measure that you will have a very, very rude awakening on that Christmas morning.
-Sandy (much humbled)
No comments:
Post a Comment