I really need to go to bed. I'm exhausted. But I have to change before I go to bed. Taking off my makeup at night is so depressing. It means that the morning is coming and I have to go and pretend that I'm a guy.
Really, I'd just like to scrub up enough that I can go to bed without leaving my makeup on my pillow and tomorrow just put my face on and get dressed for work. Soon, Sandy, soon. At least I hope so.
Today I finally met the FTM at work. He and I will be working together to develop the transition milestones for our company. There is a certain symmetry about he and I which I find appealing. He is so sweet. He insisted on opening all the doors for me. And so polite. I could get used to that!
Also we found out from our contact in HR that there have been other transitions so ours isn't all that much news. That gives me some comfort because I just want this to be old news.
I'm so close to just outing myself and being done with it. I'm so damn tired of playing the game. But it really isn't fair to my co-workers to be blindsided like that. And the more acceptance I have from my closest associates and manager, the easier my transition will be.
But every day I get up and I live the lie.
-Sandy (well at least it's such a little lie now)
Really, I'd just like to scrub up enough that I can go to bed without leaving my makeup on my pillow and tomorrow just put my face on and get dressed for work. Soon, Sandy, soon. At least I hope so.
Today I finally met the FTM at work. He and I will be working together to develop the transition milestones for our company. There is a certain symmetry about he and I which I find appealing. He is so sweet. He insisted on opening all the doors for me. And so polite. I could get used to that!
Also we found out from our contact in HR that there have been other transitions so ours isn't all that much news. That gives me some comfort because I just want this to be old news.
I'm so close to just outing myself and being done with it. I'm so damn tired of playing the game. But it really isn't fair to my co-workers to be blindsided like that. And the more acceptance I have from my closest associates and manager, the easier my transition will be.
But every day I get up and I live the lie.
-Sandy (well at least it's such a little lie now)
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