Post Op
The days following surgery were actually pretty monotonous. Exercise was very moderate. Mostly consisting of leg lifts walks around the condo. Occasionally we would go outside and walk. While the rain had passed, the temperature was still in the mid 50's so it was a bit chill.
I would minister to Maddie's needs, which mostly consisted of making sure she was well hydrated and checking her cath bag. When she was more mobile she took care of that task herself.
She felt like she had been hit by a truck. Well, pretty much, she had. This is major surgery, after all, and the body is extremely traumatized as a result. So after walking outside, for example, it would not be unusual for her to nap for an hour or more. But as the days went on, she did become stronger, but still had few reserves.
The plan was that she would see the doctor one last time on our day of departure and then we would head for the airport for the trip home.
Throwing a monkey wrench into our stay there was a job related crisis on Wednesday that I had to take care of. And while the issue was somewhat minor, I did spend most of the night fixing stuff. Oh the wonders of technology.
On Friday, we went to see the doctor one last time. The visit and trip to the doctor went very well. Doctor Reed examined Maddie and said that she was doing well and she should make a good recovery and have a very nice cosmetic appearance. He did say that she could come back in about three to six months for a revision if she wanted.
He then removed her packing and examined her vagina. He then brought out her new stents that she would be using to dilate. And then while she was watching in a mirror, he dilated her for the first time. Her initial depth was quite good, over five inches, and the insertion was painless.
There was still some blood seepage, from some of her stitches as well from her vagina. This is normal for this stage of recovery. He then gave her a peroxide/betadine/water douche and told her to douche about once a day for the first week or so and then trail off after that.
He then helped her clean up and after she got dressed, we adjourned to his office for a final review and questions. He had been quite clear in his instructions, both written and spoken.
He then filled out the forms from the State of Illinois which would allow Maddie to modify her birth certificate. The State of Illinois has a moderately difficult process to change your B/C but once you jump through those hoops, the B/C is amended and re-issued. However, the original B/C is sequestered, and the new B/C has no indication on it that it has been amended. And the original B/C can only be examined under a court order. So in this case it is a very good acceptance of trans people.
We then headed back to the Barbizon to finish packing and head back to the airport. The packing and loading was a bit depressing. Maddie was still in a daze from the whole process. Here she had, like many of us, yearned for years and years for this very moment, but now, in reflection, the trip and operation seemed to pass in an instant as we prepared to leave. Almost like a carnival ride that promises wonder and finishes all too soon.
Also she felt useless. I kept reassuring her that because of her weakened condition, she really shouldn't be lifting all that much and should conserve her energy for the trip. She still did not understand how draining the impending flight would be. I jokingly told her to just sit back and think of herself as baggage.
Pat and I finished packing and pat straightened up the condo while I loaded. There wasn't any maid service for the condo, it was more of a sub-let and cleaning up after ourselves is considered a requirement. Also there is a security deposit on the rental and it is returned after check out providing things are ship-shape. But since it was a studio, it shined up quickly.
As fate would have it the nicest day of the whole trip was our last one. For the first time in the ten days that we were there the temperature was scheduled to get above 80 degrees and be sunny. Sigh.
The trip back to the airport was pleasant and while it was a bit confusing finding the place to return the rental car it was done fairly easily. What wasn't easy was trundling all our baggage, including Maddie 
, to the check in and getting our boarding passes. Fortunately we managed to find a wheel chair quite close to the rental agency and then took a baggage cart for the rest of the bags. The rental place was a fairly long walk from the terminal and fortunately, a sky cap for Southwest came to us at the check in counter and took Maddie in tow so we could check in and get our bags taken care of.
Going through the TSA checkpoint was, as expected, a requisite pain in the posterior for me. Additionally since Maddie was ridding a wheel chair, she was also given a pat down. They also had to check her travel catheter bag that she had strapped to her leg. We have to accept these humiliations so that we can be safe. Yeah, right. Thankfully, the TSA agreed that neither of us were a threat but it still took about 15 minutes to get through the checkpoint. I will refrain from getting on my soapbox (again) about how we are considered guilty by our government and have exchanged liberty for a thin veil of supposed security.
Our sky cap stayed with us while we were patted down and helped push Maddie to the gate. I was very pleased by this and he was quite courteous and polite and made apologies for the rotten weather we had while we were there.
Once we got to the gate, we still had about an hour to wait before our flight left. I had called the house and let them know when we would be getting in. I also found out that I would be flying away from warm 80 degrees and sunny Miami weather into 9 degrees and snowy Chicago weather. Oh fun. We had brought out our heavy winter jackets and would bundle up at the other end.
Even riding as “baggage”, Maddie was already exhausted just getting to the airport. I could see her energy just draining from her face.
We finally boarded. Since Maddie was a “wheelie”, she got to get on first. Pat went with her to help her get settled. I stayed behind and boarded with the rest of the passenger. Though I too was starting to wind down and feel my batteries drain as well. I was glad to get on the plane. When I boarded I found out that Pat and Maddie had secured the front seats in the plane. That was nice since it gave Maddie more leg room and allowed her some more comfort. Also she would be very close to the lav should she need it (she did).
The flight back to Chi took about three and a half hours. And was uneventful and the only thing that gave us any diversion was the peanuts and crackers that were passed out. Flying Southwest is cheap but the first thing you notice besides the single class arrangement is the feeling of being on a cattle car.
Getting off when we landed was chilly and there was a sky cap to take Maddie to the baggage claim area.
This is where we had a bit of a problem. Apparently our sky cap thought that while one person was wheelchair bound the rest of the passengers would be Olympic sprinters. Pat has asthma and really can't run all that fast. And after repeatedly asking him to slow down, I had to stop him in his tracks, stand in front of the wheelchair, and bellow at him to slow the fnck down! Heads turned at my outrage. I told him hat we could not keep up with him and one of us could collapse and need an ambulance if he did not take it slower.
I later complained to his supervisor but other than receiving a cursory apology, I really don't know if he was reprimanded or at least got an explanation about the needs of the passengers in his charge.
Also waiting for the bags was a monumental pain. It must have taken about 45 minutes for the plane to be off loaded and our bags put on the carousel.
Then we trundled out into the cold Chicago winter to wait for our pick up. I was very worried about Maddie waiting out in the cold like that. She could have easily gotten pneumonia just in the shot time in the cold. I sometimes think that waiting for the car to pick you up is actually the longest part of a flight. Christa was the one to come and pick us up and while it only took about ten minutes for her to show up, it felt like hours out in the cold.
In short order we got the car loaded up and we were out of there. Maddie lives a short distance from Midway and we were able to get her to her house in short order.
Pat, Christa, and I, escorted our charge back into her house and the waiting arms of her mother. She was almost tearful to see her come back. Maddie kissed and hugged all of us and let her mom help her up the stairs to bed. I knew that she would sleep very well now that she was in her own bed. And that was something I was yearning for right about then myself. I was road weary and strung out. Pat and I needed to be home and asleep soon.
Christa filled us in on the things going on at the house while we were gone. Fortunately nothing “interesting” occurred.
Follow Up
The next day I stopped in to see how Maddie was doing. She had rested comfortably, but was sleeping in a room in the basement. Her dogs were jumping on her when she came home and she couldn't get the rest that she needed.
Maddie asked me to help her with her first “solo” dilation and follow up. So I showed her how to use the lube and a hand mirror and how to insert the dilator safely. Then I helped her douche. While she was initially confused with all the things she had to do, she got the idea pretty quickly and was committed to keeping up with her dilation regimen.
I've talked to her several times since then and she is doing fine. She is regaining her strength with each passing day and is extremely pleased with the outcome. She is happy that she had it done and has no regrets. She thinks the world of Dr Reed and how he helped her.
She has not decided whether or not to have the follow up labiaplasty. She wants to see how she looks as she heals.
But if she does, and decides to go back to Dr Reed, hopefully the weather will co-operate!
-Sandy
Maddie's First Flight
After months of preparations and years of yearning, Maddie (know to Susan's as Maddie71) finally reached her date for trip to Miami for her SRS with Doctor Harold Reed.
Maddie had never flown before and was very anxious about getting on a plane. In many ways she was more worried about flying than she was about her surgery.
We arrived at Midway airport well in advance of our departure. I always set off the alarms because of my surgical implant and knew that I would be patted down by our nice friends at the TSA.
I had not flown out of Midway since well before 9/11. They had made quite a number of renovations in the intervening years. Because of these changes I ended up going through the TSA “love pats” not once, but twice. I missed where we were supposed to check our baggage and tried to take all the bags through the checkpoint. The agents said that the check in was on the other side of the checkpoint and we had to go back and check the baggage, then come back through the checkpoint. That was an episode I don't relish repeating.
Fortunately that was the only real hiccup in our pre-flight. We boarded our plane and Maddie was so excited that she was almost vibrating. She kept saying; “Is this really happening? Pinch me!”
As we accelerated for take off she became a bit white knuckled and as we lifted off she had a smile frozen on her face. Then as we ascended to our cruising altitude and leveled off, she became much more relaxed and said it was no worse than riding in a car.
The rest of the flight was uneventful. We got our bags at the Ft. Lauderdale airport and got our rental car and headed into Miami to get our condo. When we picked up our rental car, we were given a selection of various full sized cars. I was originally thinking that we would get some kind of mainstream car. While there were a bunch of beige regular cars, one of the cars that we could select was a bright red Dodge Charger. Well! Guess what Sandy picked! There is something about women and fast, red cars. At least for me...
South Beach
The condo was located in the South Beach area and if you watch the opening scene on the “The Birdcage”, you'll see where we were. The condo is called the Barbizon. It is in an upscale area, just a couple of blocks from the beach. It is an interesting mix of Gay, Hispanic, and Jewish. All the people are very friendly and open.
The weather, however was only somewhat better than what we left in Chicago. It was overcast, rainy, and chilly. Though, the temperature at 55 degrees was higher than we left, it wasn't what I was expecting.
The condo was very nice and well appointed. We settled in and had a nice dinner at one of the local restaurants. And Maddie, well all of us, fell in lust with our waiter... *sigh*
Maddie's Presurgical Consultantation and a wonderful surprise!
The next day was the day before surgery and the occasion for the final pre-surgical consultation, the liquid only diet, and the unenviable pre-surgical bowel cleansing.
Maddie did not have an exact time for her pre-surgical consult. We arranged to show up at his office right when it opened. We arrived just after 9:00. As we arrived, there was already a young woman in the waiting room. She was talking with a person in scrubs. We could not help but listen in. Apparently she was there for a procedure as well, though initially we could not be sure of what procedure she was going to have. The person she was talking to was the anesthesiologist, and he was asking her about her family history and reaction to general anesthesia.
From her conversation, it became obvious that she was there for the same reason that Maddie was there. After the anesthesiologist completed his interview, the conversation became more general and the two of them were just chatting. It was a small waiting room and soon Maddie and I were made part of the conversation.
As we chatted about our experiences in our transition the young woman turned to me and said that I looked familiar. She asked if I posted at a place called “Susan's”? I said yes, I was Sandy. Her face lit up and she said that she was known here as Princess Jasmine!
She has not posted here lately because of her busy life. I asked if I could post about her experience as well, and she said yes. Though she does ask for her continued anonymity for personal reasons.
What a happy coincidence! We chatted while she waited to be taken back for her procedure. Soon the doctor came out and apologized to Maddie for not being able to see her right then, but he had to prepare for Jasmine's procedure. He asked us to come back later in the afternoon after he finished and he would be ready to talk to her. Then Jasmine and the doctor headed back to surgery. Jasmine was just “beaming”!
While Maddie was a little disappointed about not being able to see the doctor right then she was still very excited to be so close to her procedure as well and being able to talk to another person going through her process too.
Maddie spent the day in anxious anticipation. While the weather had not really improved, it did little to dim her mood.
Late in the afternoon, we returned to Dr Reed's office. After a bit of a wait, the doctor made his appearance. He had finished up with Jasmine and then came for Maddie. I accompanied her as her caregiver.
Dr Reed is a dynamo of a man. And extremely talented in more than one way. To give you an idea of his artistry is not only the results of his surgery, but the pictures that adorn virtually every wall in his clinic. The pictures are of various styles and replicas of several well known paintings and artists. What is astounding is that all these pictures were painted by the doctor himself. They are all remarkably rendered and quite beautiful.
The doctor himself is extremely personable, upbeat, confident, and quite self assured. He is also one who wastes no ones time and does not like having his time wasted. He is to the point and and very efficient.
In the pre-surgical interview, he reviewed every item with Maddie went over all the test results again and verified that he was satisfied that Maddie was absolutely healthy enough for surgery and also have a good outcome from her surgery.
He gave her a complete physical and discussed with her what the operation would consist of and what to expect following the surgery both in the short and long term.
One of the reasons that the doctor can keep his prices lower than most other surgeons is that he has his own surgical suite in his clinic so he does not have the overhead costs of working in a hospital setting. The suite is completely certified and state of the art. His staff has worked with him for a while and are competent and respectful and supportive of the trans clients that come to the clinic. The doctor is also a urologist so he sees a mix of trans and non-trans patients.
Following the consult, we asked if we could peek in on Jasmine. He said she was doing fine and resting comfortably. We went back to the recovery area and found Jasmine. She was sleeping lightly and awoke when we approached. She was all smiles and said that she was in little pain. We chatted for a few minutes and then left. All his patients spend their first night in the surgery center following their procedures.
After saying goodnight to the doctor, we headed back to the condo for Maddie to do her pre-surgical bowel prep. As others have noted, bowel prep is not a lot of fun, nor does it need a lot of explanation. She was on a liquid only diet for the rest of the day and went NPO at midnight.
The day of surgery
Maddie spent most of the night up and down from the remains of the bowel prep and excitement of her impending life changing event.
Maddie and I got up early and headed out to the clinic. Pat stayed behind to hold down the fort at the condo. The traffic was light and we made good time to the office.
Maddie was taken back as we got in and we were shown to the changing room. She used the restroom for the last time with outdoor plumbing. Back in the changing room she put on her surgical gown and put her street clothes in a locker.
We hugged and kissed goodbye and she was shown to the surgical suite. And I left her in the good doctors hands.
For the patient, the day of surgery is one where everything revolves around you. You recline on the gurney and everyone else hustles and bustles. Then there is the push of the first anesthetic, then a drowsy feeling, and perhaps actually feeling like you are drifting off to sleep, sometimes not even that, then in the next instant, the doctor or nurse is talking to you trying to wake you up and it's all over. To the patient's point of view, it happens instantly.
Not so for those who wait. Maddie was taken in to the surgical suite and the prep takes about 30-40 minutes, then the actual SRS surgery can take anywhere from 4-5 hours, then there is about 1-2 hours of recovery. So for those who wait, it is an agonizingly long time to find out how someone is doing.
I spent the afternoon with Pat in a kind of mindless wander. In one respect, I knew she was fine, but on the other hand, this IS major surgery. It is not simple, and not to be taken lightly. So in that respect, there is always the worry that occupies the back of ones mind; “What if...”
Maddie's mom too, was on tenterhooks. I called her as Maddie went into surgery so she could begin her “momworry”. I called her a couple of times during the afternoon to let her know that there really wasn't anything to know. It is a frustrating time for all but the guest of honor.
The intention was that Pat and I would meet her as she awoke. So about 4:00 in the afternoon, we headed to the office. When we got there we found out that it would be at least another hour before she went into recovery. She was doing fine, but it would take a little longer.
I was going to stay with Maddie in recovery for some time and Pat was going to go back to the condo. So Pat recorded a video for Maddie on my camera while we were in the waiting room. Then I took her back to the condo.
I called Maddie's mom to let her know the status and that everything was going according to plan, but taking longer than expected.
By time I got back to the office, Maddie was in recovery and resting comfortably. I went to see her and she was sleeping as I approached. She had a smile on her face as she slept. She roused and smiled and held my hand.
I asked how she was feeling and she said she was feeling fine. She was a bit sore but, overall was feeling alright and elated at having finally achieved this life long dream.
I then presented her with cards from her mother who had given them to me to present to her when she awoke. One was a get well after surgery card. The other was a birthday card for her daughter. Both of them were very touching and loving cards.
I called Maddie's mom and handed the phone to Maddie. She and Maddie had a chance to talk and assure her mom that she was fine and that the operation went well and that she was doing fine. Maddie thanked her for her for her cards.
My intention was to stay with her overnight if they would let me. The doctor has an overnight nurse stay with her in any case, but I just wanted to give her support if needed. I then found out that the doctor himself also stays with his patients overnight as well. I was pleasantly surprised by this. It made me feel very confident that she would have the best support possible.
The doctor assured Maddie and myself that she came through the surgery well and would make a good recovery. He was all smiles with her and kept telling her what a good patient she was.
I stayed with her for a couple of hours while she rested, then headed back to the condo. Maddie would be discharged to a local bed & breakfast that is close to the doctor's office for the first three days following surgery. The doctor would look in on her each day and change her dressings and make sure she is recovering properly. Then we would leave there to return to the condo. The originally intention was that we would spend the entire time at the condo because it was quite reasonable. I would have ensured that Maddie was returned to the doctors office for her checkups. However the doctor insisted that she spend at least the first three days at the local place.
The Baltic
The place we stayed is called the Baltic Hotel. It is a small hotel with few amenities. The hotel manager, Christina, however is a warm and gracious lady who sees many of the doctors patients. She is impressed by the people who come through there from the doctors procedures who fight and preserve to attain their life's strongest desire.
Jasmine and her friend was also at the Baltic and we had occasion to visit with them. Jasmine came through her procedure with flying colors and was bouncing back well. Her friend, Elizabeth had a second stage labiaplasty as well. They were upbeat and happy.
Jasmine had a male friend who was unaware of her past, though he was wanting to be more than a friend to her. Their relationship had been developing and Jasmine was quite infatuated with him. But she could not bring herself to tell him about her past. The day following her surgery, however, Jasmine could not hide any longer and sent her friend an email disclosing everything. She did not want to lose his friendship, but could no longer hide her past from him.
Jasmine is a gorgeous young woman and has a wonderful outlook on life. She deserves to have a happy relationship.
Very soon after sending her email, her friend called and said that he did not want to be her friend any longer... HE WANTS TO BE HER BOYFRIEND! Jasmine was overjoyed by this. We are so happy for her and we hope that she has a loving and fulfilling relationship. So often we come to the precipice, stare into the abyss and live, but then we have to face a life alone, with no soul mate or life partner to share the rewards of a life born anew. So when one of us actually finds happiness, it is uplifting.
The days spent at the Baltic went otherwise uneventfully. Several times a day, I would walk Maddie up and down the hallway and occasionally outside. Our stay in Miami was anticipated to be warm and sunny. Unfortunately, it was nothing of the sort. While much warmer than Chicago, it was hardly warm, sunny, or dry. Apparently our cold weather accompanied us to the southern climes. My anticipation of getting a tan, or at least some color did not really pan out. Ah well, I really did not think of this as a vacation for me as being a caregiver is time consuming. However I was hoping to be able to keep the widows open without having to put a sweater on!!!
As I mentioned, the Baltic is a small hotel, and the rooms are not very big.
“How small was it?”
“It was so small that the mice were hunchbacked!”
“It was so small that you had to go outside to change your mind!”
But considering that the reason a person is there is to recover from their procedure, then there is no real need for much more. But if you do come to the Baltic, bring your own movies or entertainment, the TV options are only the regular broadcast channels, but there is a DVD player. There is an internet connection available so you can keep in touch with the outside world.
For those who are looking for a higher class, and higher priced, accommodation, there is Daddio's. Also near the doctor's office. Apparently, the doctor has arrangements wiith both establishments for reduced rates for his patients.
One additional thing I can tell you about being in Miami, is that if you drive, bring your own parking space! There is little public parking. There is parking on the street and in most places the parking uses the new style of parking vending machines. But finding a parking space can be a real problem as the street parking gets picked up quickly. So finding a parking place can be a bit of a challenge.
Back at The Barbizon
Bringing Maddie back to the condo from the Baltic was a group effort and a portent of the return trip. I recall my surgery and I was extremely weak and the trip home was exhausting. Also sitting for hours on the plane will be very uncomfortable, donut or no donut.
We got Maddie bedded down in the condo and made sure she was comfortable. She had been discharged with a catheter and vaginal packing in place. The plan was to remove the packing just prior to our departure, but she would be traveling with the catheter back home.
Oh joy...
***End of Part One***
