Home again, home again...

Home again, home again...

Actually I returned home last Thursday.

The trip home was mostly uneventful with the exception of my actual flight. I was seated in the window seat. Then there were two people seated next to me who had to be assisted to their seat by the stews. It was pretty obvious that I wasn't about to be able to get to the lav for the length of the flight!

I only had one small cup of juice on the flight. I tried to sleep as much as possible.

Wrangling my luggage in the airports was harder than when I left for Philly because I was much more exhausted from the surgery.

My daughter met me at O'hare and drove me home. My granddaughter was asleep in her carseat and didn't wake up until we got home, but she was such a sight for sore eyes.

When we got home, I just wrestled my luggage to my bedroom and collapsed. By time I got undressed, I had a killer headache. I slept for about eighteen hours straight. And by time I woke up the headache was mostly gone, but I was still weak.

Just a note, ladies. Any major surgery is very debilitating to your system. Your body's stamina is virtually non-existent. So the twelve hours or so I spent packing and getting ready for my flight home, the flight itself and the trip back to the house wore me out completely. My brain was writing checks my body couldn't cash. So if and when you have any major surgery, just be sure to take things very easily.

Even today, I went out to do a couple of things and I was only out for about two hours. By time I got back, I ended up sleeping most of the afternoon.

One more thing. I have very little discomfort from the surgery and everything is working as planned. Dr Christine is pleased with the way I am healing. I am still quite sore, though, and my big orange donut is my constant companion.

I'm getting stronger though slowly so I'll start making more posts about my trip.

My passage through my transition is now complete and my life awaits. I am newborn.

Dr Christine asked me how I was feeling and I said:
"Never have I felt as free, never has the light been as bright, and never has the air smelled as sweet."

-Sandy

Hi from Doyestown!!!

Hi from Doyestown!!!

Ladies!

I am getting my strength back so I'll be able to post more soon.

My procedure went very well and the doctor says I'm doing better than ninety per cent of her patients.

I'm feeling great and no real pain to speak of.

I have so much to tell you about my time here! I'm still organizing my thoughts, but it has been wonderful!

Some of the things I'll be talking about later are;
the hospital stay
the procedure
hospital angels
and
a super secret surprise!

Anyway, ladies, I am tired right now and will rest, but will be posting more soon!

-Sandy(Live From Doyestown!)

Hi from PA!!!

Hi from PA!!!

Just a quick note, all.

I touched down in Philly this morning and I am now in my hotel. I can see the hospital where I'll be going from my window.

I have my consult with Dr. McGinn tomorrow, just after Kate has hers. There's some talk of all of us going out to lunch afterwards. That would be great!

Then I get sequestered to my room to "prepare" for the big day on Thursday. Something about being NPO after midnight is the easiest part. Those of you who have had surgery "south of the boarder" know about having to be er... clean. 'nuff said.

All my fears of going through airport security were just boogymen in my mind. I did set off the alarms as I thought I would, but I was quickly wanded down and sent on my way. It was the first time I had been patted down since I transitioned. I will say that being wanded and patted down by women is much more accommodating and understanding of my personal space than when I would get patted down as a guy.

Anyway, I breezed through security and had to wait for about two hours before my flight took off. But when my butt hit the seat, all the stress drained from my body and I fell asleep and didn't wake up until after we were in the air.

I guess I had more fear about that than anything else.

Well that part is over.

I'll post more as I get closer, than after my surgery, as I am able.

Thank you all for being there for me. It really helped me cope!

-Sandy(sleepy)

I will not trade one lie for another, but...

I will not trade one lie for another, but...

This is a first for me. And in the grand scheme of things not a big deal, but does make me wonder about which way to go.

A few weeks back I happened to strike up a conversation with a very nice lady on our shuttle bus. She was very friendly and passing the boring time on the bus with a conversation is nice. She also takes her train from the same depot I use so we walk from where the bus lets us off to the terminal. It's about a ten minute walk and we both remarked about being able to get some exercise was a good thing. She is a tall woman, nearly as tall as I am, so we both can walk very quickly. It's fun to have someone to pace your stride with.

Since this is my last week at work before heading out, I've been debating what to say to her about me being gone for several weeks.

What makes this difficult for me is that she is a recent employee here and has not heard about my transition. To me, I am just another woman in the workforce. And the possibility I may soon out myself to her is a first for me. All of my other outings have always revolved about me as a former male and moving on to female. With her, I may have to tell her I used to be male. She has no clue.

Well I started the conversation by telling her that I would be gone for a while in surgery. She asked if everything was all right. I told her that everything was fine.

After a few more minutes she asked what all I was going in for.

"Oh, just having some plumbing work done..."

"Been there done that!" she replied.

Not a lie, but not the truth...

"Which hospital are you going to?"

"I have to fly out to Philadelphia to see a specialist"

Still not lying, but not being truthful either.

"Well I hope everthing goes OK! Send me a note when you get back and I'll visit you since you live near me anyway."

"Thanks! I would love that!"

My first truthful statement.

I didn't give up the lie of masculinity just to hide behind my femininity. I feel that I need to be truthful with her, but it is just not one of those things you can just slide in the conversation. "Hi! How's your day been. Oh did I tell you I used to be a male?" In a casual context it is not necessary to tell everyone you meet who you are and really it is none of their business, but when a new friendship is at stake, I really don't feel right not being forth coming.

But maybe she doesn't want to know, so if I tell her it becomes Too Much Information.

But if I don't tell her and she finds out (a real possibility), she may be offended that I didn't trust her enough to tell her about myself.

I'm just a bit confused here, ladies. If anyone has had a similar thing happen to them, how did you handle it?

Thanks.

-Sandy

What a nice send off!

What a nice send off!

Today is my last day at work and one of my groupmates joined us for lunch. It was unusual for him to join us, usually he goes and does exercises. I figured that he wanted to visit with me before I head out.

Well, during lunch, he presented me with a wonderful card signed by the people in the office. I was so touched! Yeah, try as I might, I couldn't keep the waterworks from turning on...

I will put the card by my bedside when I am in the hospital. I'm still smiling!

-Sandy

Overcoming the last hurdle

Overcoming the last hurdle

As many of you may know, one of the things that told me I was on the right path with my transsexuality was that the insurance company would pay for my SRS. This is such an unusual position for an insurance company to make, I knew it must be fate.

I had verified this several times and with multiple people at the insurance company. The only real hitch was that since my surgeon was out of network, I would have to pay for the operation up front then be reimbursed for the procedure. Ok, no *big* deal, just arrange for a short term loan and then pay it off when the reimbursement check comes in.

Well after some scrambling, and finding out that it’s easier to borrow $5k than it is to borrow $16K, I ended up with a loan from one of the national credit card companies who arranged a line of credit for me. It’s a fixed term loan with an interest rate that is just a couple of points away from loan shark. Again, no real problem since all that would go away in just a few months anyway.

So I arranged for the operation and made the first few payments on the loan. It put a big dent in my disposable income, but I am one to keep my eye on the prize. Completing my transition is uppermost in my mind and felt this was a short term pain.

Now the insurance company put just three conditions on paying for my procedure. And they are:

1. Get a referral from the Primary Care Physician.
2. Have the referral approved by the medical group.
3. It must not be cosmetic surgery.

That seemed simple enough.

My PCP has been with me from the start of my process and had already agreed to write the referral, and the medical group is the main medical group for the LGBT community so I didn’t think that they would object, and, of course, having GRS is not cosmetic. It’s a medical necessity as listed in the DSM-IV for those patients diagnosed with GID.

Well, a few weeks ago I asked the doctor to start the process for the referral. He told me he would get right on it.

A few days later, I received a phone call from the clinic saying my referral had been denied!

I asked why, and the person at the clinic said that they didn’t know other than it was marked as “Not a Supported Benefit”.

I spent the next half of a day calling back and forth between the insurance company, the medical group, and the clinic to find out what went on.

What I found out was very enlightening. The referral was denied because cosmetic procedures are not allowed! As it turns out, the referral has to be written using the insurance company’s automated referral system. The automated referral system will only allow GRS to be entered as a cosmetic procedure!

Catch-22! You can't have a cosmetic procedure but the procedure can only be entered as cosmetic! This deceitful practice gave me a false sense of hope. And according to everyone in the loop none of it was their fault. No one was responsible for setting up the referral system that way, and no one could be found to find out why it was that way. Had I known that they would play these kind of games with my happiness and health I would have come up with alternative plans.

When I asked what recourse I had, the insurance company said that I could self pay… Thanks.

I asked what other options I had. They said that there was an appeals process. I could submit my reasons for opposing their denial and provide as much documentation as possible and they would consider a response. But I had only sixty days to file an appeal and they would respond within thirty days.

As you might expect, I was devastated! The loan I was expecting to pay off was now looking like a constant companion for the next eighty-four months!

I wasn’t going to let it get me down. At the minimum, none of these Machiavellian mind games would prevent me from having my GRS! Everything was already paid for. And since I had sixty days to respond, I wasn’t going to worry about it until I got back from Doylestown. I decided to sit back and enjoy the ride. I wasn’t going to let my frame of mind be twisted out of the near bliss I was feeling as I got closer to my surgery date.

I did, however start composing my appeal in my head and I contacted my therapists and doctors about the turn of events and asked them for a letter explaining why this surgery was not cosmetic. All of my “gender team” were very sympathetic and determined to do the very best they could for me.

I figured that once the letters came in I’d send the appeal through and worry about any other issues when I got back.

Certainly I was concerned, but I wasn’t going to let it stop me.

A few days after that, I started receiving letters. Two were not in my hand, however. One of my therapists insisted that they would send the letter directly to the appeals board. So I sent the information on where to send it, and I guess it was sent. My PCP happened to be on vacation and said that they would have it ready by time they returned from vacation.

Then a few days ago I got another phone call from the clinic. My denial had been rescinded!

Naturally I was over the moon with happiness! There was no explanation other than the denial had been changed to approved and was approved by the medical director.

I had not sent in my appeal yet so I was curious as to why the reversal came through. I initially surmised that my therapist had convinced them to change their minds based solely upon her appeal! If that was the case I was mightily impressed!

The next day however, I was scheduled to have my final blood tests done at the clinic. When I got there, I happened to run into my doctor. We hugged and I asked if he had heard about my appeal. He said no. I told him that his nurse had told me, so he should have checked with him. I told him what the nurse had told me and a smile lit his face.

What my doctor said was that he had contacted the insurance representative directly and he spent over an hour discussing my case with her. He explained why it was a medical necessity for me to have this procedure. He also submitted over THREE HUNDRED PAGES OF DOCUMENTATION in support of his position! In the eyes of the insurance company, unless a procedure will directly save a life, it is considered “cosmetic”. This of course is not the way the medical community sees things.

I am seriously indebted to my doctor. He went way beyond the extra mile for me. And because of his effort my last hurdle has been overcome.

-Sandy(enjoying the ride)