My first day at work as Sandra. The drive in was tedious but necessary. Normally I take the train but for the next two weeks I'll be working at the theatre so I've got to drive from the office to the theatre then back home. A long day to be sure.
I got up at 4:30 to give me plenty of time to work with my hair. I must have tried a dozen things but in the end I ended up walking out the door in my wig. By time I got to work, despite reciting relaxation sayings, I was still pretty nervous.
Walking from the parking lot to the door wasn't too bad, though when I stopped at the kiosk to get my bottled water, the lady behind the counter didn't recognize me though I was a regular customer in my previous life. She did stare at me trying to place my face. She hadn't been told about me so I'm thinking I may not tell. After all I don't *have* to wear a sign around my neck that says "TRANSSEXUAL!!!". She may read me on her own and if she does then I'll tell her but up to now I'm not worrying about it.
Anyway by time I paid for my water, my hands were shaking almost uncontrollably. I couldn't even put my money back in my wallet. I had to step around the corner to pull myself together and pack everything up.
Waiting for the elevator and then going upstairs was nervewracking. Nobody was on the elevator and nobody got on, but I was nervous that someone would get on. When I came into the office, I stopped by my managers office. His door was open, but he was facing away from me. I was so nervous that I think that when I knocked on the door, it probably sounded like a woodpecker.
He turned around and got this big grin on his face and said "Well! Look at you!". He immediately put me at ease and I thanked him and everyone for being so supportive of me. It really was humbling the way that these folks seemed to go beyond the call of duty to make my transition successful.
Lunch time now: Just came back from getting my salad from the kiosk. The lady finally did recognize me and we chatted for a few minutes. She asked when I changed. She complimented me on how good I looked. The only thing that tripped her off to me was that I called her by name in the morning and she didn't know me. Then it clicked for her. She was so nice. I felt a renewed confidence in myself.
One of the things that has been quite apparent as of today is the subtle ways the relationships have changed already. Some guys used to wander over to my desk to chat and now they don't. They are cordial enough when we meet, but I think they are uncomfortable starting a conversation with me now as a woman. I think part of it has to do with the fact that these guys would not hold back with the jokes and kidding around. Some of it was sexist and perhaps they now think I may have been offended by their actions or words.
I'm a bit more isolated now as a result, perhaps this will pass as people get used to the new (real!) me.
Afternoon now: Just got back from getting my new ID card. Sandra is printed on it along with my picture. I keep staring at it. This is starting to be official now. My other records in the company are being changed and will probably take from a couple of days for the email system to catch up, to a couple of weeks or more for other things like getting new nameplates for my cubicle.
And once my legal name change is official, next month, then all the rest of my employee information will read as Sandra Louise, female. oh wow.
My first full day as a woman in the workforce has been wonderful and I feel great!
-Sandra (just like Tony *Toni?* the Tiger)
I got up at 4:30 to give me plenty of time to work with my hair. I must have tried a dozen things but in the end I ended up walking out the door in my wig. By time I got to work, despite reciting relaxation sayings, I was still pretty nervous.
Walking from the parking lot to the door wasn't too bad, though when I stopped at the kiosk to get my bottled water, the lady behind the counter didn't recognize me though I was a regular customer in my previous life. She did stare at me trying to place my face. She hadn't been told about me so I'm thinking I may not tell. After all I don't *have* to wear a sign around my neck that says "TRANSSEXUAL!!!". She may read me on her own and if she does then I'll tell her but up to now I'm not worrying about it.
Anyway by time I paid for my water, my hands were shaking almost uncontrollably. I couldn't even put my money back in my wallet. I had to step around the corner to pull myself together and pack everything up.
Waiting for the elevator and then going upstairs was nervewracking. Nobody was on the elevator and nobody got on, but I was nervous that someone would get on. When I came into the office, I stopped by my managers office. His door was open, but he was facing away from me. I was so nervous that I think that when I knocked on the door, it probably sounded like a woodpecker.
He turned around and got this big grin on his face and said "Well! Look at you!". He immediately put me at ease and I thanked him and everyone for being so supportive of me. It really was humbling the way that these folks seemed to go beyond the call of duty to make my transition successful.
Lunch time now: Just came back from getting my salad from the kiosk. The lady finally did recognize me and we chatted for a few minutes. She asked when I changed. She complimented me on how good I looked. The only thing that tripped her off to me was that I called her by name in the morning and she didn't know me. Then it clicked for her. She was so nice. I felt a renewed confidence in myself.
One of the things that has been quite apparent as of today is the subtle ways the relationships have changed already. Some guys used to wander over to my desk to chat and now they don't. They are cordial enough when we meet, but I think they are uncomfortable starting a conversation with me now as a woman. I think part of it has to do with the fact that these guys would not hold back with the jokes and kidding around. Some of it was sexist and perhaps they now think I may have been offended by their actions or words.
I'm a bit more isolated now as a result, perhaps this will pass as people get used to the new (real!) me.
Afternoon now: Just got back from getting my new ID card. Sandra is printed on it along with my picture. I keep staring at it. This is starting to be official now. My other records in the company are being changed and will probably take from a couple of days for the email system to catch up, to a couple of weeks or more for other things like getting new nameplates for my cubicle.
And once my legal name change is official, next month, then all the rest of my employee information will read as Sandra Louise, female. oh wow.
My first full day as a woman in the workforce has been wonderful and I feel great!
-Sandra (just like Tony *Toni?* the Tiger)
