At least that is the way I'm feeling right now.
In just about ten days, I check into Dr Zukowski's clinic. And about eight hours after that I will be *different*.
I don't want to say a new woman, because I'm already a new woman. But when I look in the mirror (after I heal) I'll see much less of the male markers left over from my battle with testosterone. And more of the softer more feminine face that has been trying to come out for so long. I won't have to wear makeup to de-emphasize my masculine traits like my Neanderthal brow bone, or squarish jaw.
I'll be able to wear makeup to better accentuate my feminine features. More to the point, I won't HAVE to wear makeup if I don't want to! Right now I don't dare go out in public with out makeup. I feel I am asking to get read if I do.
I'll probably have to learn different makeup techniques for my new face. I'm kind of looking forward to that.
The Christmas part is that while I know exactly what the good doctor has in store for me, I have no idea how I'm going to look.
For example, he said that part of the rhinoplasty/septiplasty will be to reduce the bony ridge of my nose and to shorten the end of the base and thin the width of the the of the nose. Making it more feminine looking. But I don't know how that will look on me. Or really what it will really look like. I've seen before and after pictures from the Dr. Z's book so I have an idea, but it isn't like you can go to the nose store and try on a bunch of different styles and have the one you like.
The same goes with the rest of the facial procedures. Also how will all of these changes REALLY make me look?
I trust the doctor and I am confident that he will do his best for me. As he said he doesn't try to fit his patients into a mold but rather work with them to give them the best possible results.
So on that "Christmas" morning in July I'll be anxious to see what I look like. Actually those first few days after surgery I'll probably look like the creature from the Black Lagoon. Maybe I should make that my new avatar! But still by then, I should get an inkling of what the final product will look like. Though for the first day or so, my eyes will be swelled shut so I won't see much.
The other procedure is tracheal shave. That will be a welcome change. I won't have to worry about that thing bobbing up and down when I talk.
And of course the breast augmentation. Or as Tink has so eloquently put it, being visited by the breast fairy. One of the things the doctor stressed was, buyers remorse. When he told me what size of implant he thought would look good with my frame, I was astounded. It seems like a huge amount. Like my breasts will end up in a different zip code than I am. The doctor stressed that virtually all of his patience who have opted for smaller size implants were eventually disappointed. The "buyers remorse" was that they wish they had gone with the recommendation. He explained that given my build and weight the size he recommended would look fine. Also when the implants are placed under the muscle, there is less protrusion so they will be a bit softer. So I'll be going with his recommendation.
You may have noticed I haven't mentioned the size of the implants. I did this on purpose. I really don't want this thread turn into a breast size debate. Once the procedure is complete and the swelling has gone down some, I'll post something about how my "girls" are developing and how I feel about them.
What I am looking forward to is not having to put breast forms on again. The one things that really gives my self esteem a hit are my small breasts. I feel like I'm being false having to put my forms on in the morning. Well soon that will be a thing of the past. And I look forward to it. (I'm hearing the Bob Hope theme song in the background...)
All told I should be out for about three weeks. By time I return to work, I won't be completely healed but enough of the swelling should have gone down so that I won't scare little children as I walk down the street.
Posted on: July 12, 2007, 12:13:40 AM
The clock is ticking down.
Actually the clock seems to have stopped! Just like a kid before Christmas...
An interesting feeling this time. Several weeks ago when I had my orchiectomy, prior to the operation I had more than a few thoughts questioning my motives and whether or not this was right for me.
This time there is no question, no hesitation. No C.L.O.D. fears. Just wishing Saturday would get here!
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I go through the procedure. Thank you all!
-Sandy
In just about ten days, I check into Dr Zukowski's clinic. And about eight hours after that I will be *different*.
I don't want to say a new woman, because I'm already a new woman. But when I look in the mirror (after I heal) I'll see much less of the male markers left over from my battle with testosterone. And more of the softer more feminine face that has been trying to come out for so long. I won't have to wear makeup to de-emphasize my masculine traits like my Neanderthal brow bone, or squarish jaw.
I'll be able to wear makeup to better accentuate my feminine features. More to the point, I won't HAVE to wear makeup if I don't want to! Right now I don't dare go out in public with out makeup. I feel I am asking to get read if I do.
I'll probably have to learn different makeup techniques for my new face. I'm kind of looking forward to that.
The Christmas part is that while I know exactly what the good doctor has in store for me, I have no idea how I'm going to look.
For example, he said that part of the rhinoplasty/septiplasty will be to reduce the bony ridge of my nose and to shorten the end of the base and thin the width of the the of the nose. Making it more feminine looking. But I don't know how that will look on me. Or really what it will really look like. I've seen before and after pictures from the Dr. Z's book so I have an idea, but it isn't like you can go to the nose store and try on a bunch of different styles and have the one you like.
The same goes with the rest of the facial procedures. Also how will all of these changes REALLY make me look?
I trust the doctor and I am confident that he will do his best for me. As he said he doesn't try to fit his patients into a mold but rather work with them to give them the best possible results.
So on that "Christmas" morning in July I'll be anxious to see what I look like. Actually those first few days after surgery I'll probably look like the creature from the Black Lagoon. Maybe I should make that my new avatar! But still by then, I should get an inkling of what the final product will look like. Though for the first day or so, my eyes will be swelled shut so I won't see much.
The other procedure is tracheal shave. That will be a welcome change. I won't have to worry about that thing bobbing up and down when I talk.
And of course the breast augmentation. Or as Tink has so eloquently put it, being visited by the breast fairy. One of the things the doctor stressed was, buyers remorse. When he told me what size of implant he thought would look good with my frame, I was astounded. It seems like a huge amount. Like my breasts will end up in a different zip code than I am. The doctor stressed that virtually all of his patience who have opted for smaller size implants were eventually disappointed. The "buyers remorse" was that they wish they had gone with the recommendation. He explained that given my build and weight the size he recommended would look fine. Also when the implants are placed under the muscle, there is less protrusion so they will be a bit softer. So I'll be going with his recommendation.
You may have noticed I haven't mentioned the size of the implants. I did this on purpose. I really don't want this thread turn into a breast size debate. Once the procedure is complete and the swelling has gone down some, I'll post something about how my "girls" are developing and how I feel about them.
What I am looking forward to is not having to put breast forms on again. The one things that really gives my self esteem a hit are my small breasts. I feel like I'm being false having to put my forms on in the morning. Well soon that will be a thing of the past. And I look forward to it. (I'm hearing the Bob Hope theme song in the background...)
All told I should be out for about three weeks. By time I return to work, I won't be completely healed but enough of the swelling should have gone down so that I won't scare little children as I walk down the street.
Posted on: July 12, 2007, 12:13:40 AM
The clock is ticking down.
Actually the clock seems to have stopped! Just like a kid before Christmas...
An interesting feeling this time. Several weeks ago when I had my orchiectomy, prior to the operation I had more than a few thoughts questioning my motives and whether or not this was right for me.
This time there is no question, no hesitation. No C.L.O.D. fears. Just wishing Saturday would get here!
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I go through the procedure. Thank you all!
-Sandy
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