Wednesday, April 11, 2007

R.I.P. Barry

R.I.P. Barry
Today was my last day at work as a guy. That was the only place I would go in drag. Fortunately I haven't been called for jury duty and hopefully I won't until my other changes are complete.

This day was one of... God, I dunno. How do you describe your last day in something like this?

I met with my manager this afternoon and he reiterated what the plan was for the next few days.

My manager and the HR person would meet with my team mates and others on my floor to talk about transsexuality, me, and the company's zero tolerance rules. I think in that order.

I've been given three days off so they could meet and have discussions and if anyone had a problem they could talk about it without me overhearing or feeling like they had to go behind my back.

There is another transsexual who is coming out at the same time. He is on the floor below me and they are having similar meetings there.

The thing that hit me late in the afternoon, was that about 200 or so people would be attending these various meetings...

So that two transsexuals can come to work and live as they were supposed to in the first place. In some of the discussions I've had with Dave, the GLBT person I originally came out to, I've said that being gay is like being democrat or republican. It doesn't show unless you tell. Being transsexual is just the opposite. It becomes very noticeable. When a gay person wants to come out, usually to get equal insurance for their partner, about all they have to do is talk to the benefits people. When two transsexuals want to come out, two hundred people have to be notified.

My head was spinning when I got home.

Julie, bless her, slapped me around until I saw stars.

Then talked some sense into my ingrown blond brain. In her non-directive counseling manner she said "So? What's the ^%$# the problem! You're about to do what most transsexuals can only dream of. So what if everyone knows. You think you could hide? You think people wouldn't notice when you go back to work? When you go back to work on Monday, hold your head high, make eye contact with everyone you see and tell them good morning! Be proud of who you are. They will see you as having courage of your convictions. You may end up being a roll model for someone else. In other words, get over yourself!"

Then to make sure I understood she slapped me around some more.

Julie constantly is telling me to do less thinking and more being. How right she is.

I'm the one who wanted to be an advocate. Well I guess it starts now. Being an advocate means you don't hide. You remain in plain sight. I will be all that. And proud.

-Sandy(and scared)

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