This is a first for me. And in the grand scheme of things not a big deal, but does make me wonder about which way to go.
A few weeks back I happened to strike up a conversation with a very nice lady on our shuttle bus. She was very friendly and passing the boring time on the bus with a conversation is nice. She also takes her train from the same depot I use so we walk from where the bus lets us off to the terminal. It's about a ten minute walk and we both remarked about being able to get some exercise was a good thing. She is a tall woman, nearly as tall as I am, so we both can walk very quickly. It's fun to have someone to pace your stride with.
Since this is my last week at work before heading out, I've been debating what to say to her about me being gone for several weeks.
What makes this difficult for me is that she is a recent employee here and has not heard about my transition. To me, I am just another woman in the workforce. And the possibility I may soon out myself to her is a first for me. All of my other outings have always revolved about me as a former male and moving on to female. With her, I may have to tell her I used to be male. She has no clue.
Well I started the conversation by telling her that I would be gone for a while in surgery. She asked if everything was all right. I told her that everything was fine.
After a few more minutes she asked what all I was going in for.
"Oh, just having some plumbing work done..."
"Been there done that!" she replied.
Not a lie, but not the truth...
"Which hospital are you going to?"
"I have to fly out to Philadelphia to see a specialist"
Still not lying, but not being truthful either.
"Well I hope everthing goes OK! Send me a note when you get back and I'll visit you since you live near me anyway."
"Thanks! I would love that!"
My first truthful statement.
I didn't give up the lie of masculinity just to hide behind my femininity. I feel that I need to be truthful with her, but it is just not one of those things you can just slide in the conversation. "Hi! How's your day been. Oh did I tell you I used to be a male?" In a casual context it is not necessary to tell everyone you meet who you are and really it is none of their business, but when a new friendship is at stake, I really don't feel right not being forth coming.
But maybe she doesn't want to know, so if I tell her it becomes Too Much Information.
But if I don't tell her and she finds out (a real possibility), she may be offended that I didn't trust her enough to tell her about myself.
I'm just a bit confused here, ladies. If anyone has had a similar thing happen to them, how did you handle it?
Thanks.
-Sandy
A few weeks back I happened to strike up a conversation with a very nice lady on our shuttle bus. She was very friendly and passing the boring time on the bus with a conversation is nice. She also takes her train from the same depot I use so we walk from where the bus lets us off to the terminal. It's about a ten minute walk and we both remarked about being able to get some exercise was a good thing. She is a tall woman, nearly as tall as I am, so we both can walk very quickly. It's fun to have someone to pace your stride with.
Since this is my last week at work before heading out, I've been debating what to say to her about me being gone for several weeks.
What makes this difficult for me is that she is a recent employee here and has not heard about my transition. To me, I am just another woman in the workforce. And the possibility I may soon out myself to her is a first for me. All of my other outings have always revolved about me as a former male and moving on to female. With her, I may have to tell her I used to be male. She has no clue.
Well I started the conversation by telling her that I would be gone for a while in surgery. She asked if everything was all right. I told her that everything was fine.
After a few more minutes she asked what all I was going in for.
"Oh, just having some plumbing work done..."
"Been there done that!" she replied.
Not a lie, but not the truth...
"Which hospital are you going to?"
"I have to fly out to Philadelphia to see a specialist"
Still not lying, but not being truthful either.
"Well I hope everthing goes OK! Send me a note when you get back and I'll visit you since you live near me anyway."
"Thanks! I would love that!"
My first truthful statement.
I didn't give up the lie of masculinity just to hide behind my femininity. I feel that I need to be truthful with her, but it is just not one of those things you can just slide in the conversation. "Hi! How's your day been. Oh did I tell you I used to be a male?" In a casual context it is not necessary to tell everyone you meet who you are and really it is none of their business, but when a new friendship is at stake, I really don't feel right not being forth coming.
But maybe she doesn't want to know, so if I tell her it becomes Too Much Information.
But if I don't tell her and she finds out (a real possibility), she may be offended that I didn't trust her enough to tell her about myself.
I'm just a bit confused here, ladies. If anyone has had a similar thing happen to them, how did you handle it?
Thanks.
-Sandy
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