Catching up...

Ok, it's been quite a while since I posted anything, though not because I didn't want to. I've just been very preoccupied.

Coming up in just a couple of weeks is my final operation and I am getting very anxious right about now. Not for any particular reason, just a free floating anxiety. I haven't flown since before 9/11 and I really don't know what to expect. I've heard all sorts of horror stories about being randomly selected for a background check.

I'm not worried about my documentation, about the only piece of documentation that still lists me as male is my birth certificate. My drivers license and my Social Security records all list me as female so I am not particularly worried about that.

Jeez, all this bull and presumption of guilt just to get on a damn plane. I'd rather drive there. Driving there is not the problem. Driving *back* would be incredibly difficult since I'd have to stop three or four times a day to dilate. And I'd be sitting on a donut as well. And be pretty uncomfortable to boot! No, I'll brave the nightmare of preflight security checks and a guaranteed call out by our Patriot Act brown shirts er TSA officers to grope me because I have three pounds of stainless steel in my shoulder. I'm so glad the the government is of the people, by the people, and for the people. It's just that some people are more equal than others...

I'm not worried about the operation. Hell I've spent decades, literally, waiting for this moment. I researched and prepared for years. I've watched so many videos of various doctors performing the gender reassignment surgery that I probably call out which instruments the doctor was using at any particular time. No, once I check into the hospital, I'll probably bliss out until I wake up from the anesthesia.

Anyway, I'm just a little high strung right now. And getting more so as it gets closer to my flight out of here. Also I keep gaining weight when I want to be going in the opposite direction. Stress will either make you gain or lose weight. This time I'm gaining,. If I so much as smell anything sweet, I gain a pound. At least my boobs still stick out farther than my gut. I wish the fat was in my butt though, I'm still kind of flat back there.

A lot of my nervousness also has to do with trying to make sure I've got everything covered before I leave. My travel and lodging arrangements are complete, most of my pre-surgical tests are done and I just have to get my blood work done about March 3rd or so. The Dr. wants the blood work to be no older than two weeks prior to surgery.

Now I have to start thinking of packing. Since I'll be spending a lot of time "exercising", comfort and ease of removal is the fashion tip of the week. So track suits and sweat pants will be my major clothing items. then the standard other things, like shoes, cosmetics and skin care. I'm not sure what sort of consumables I should take, like pads and lube. The doctor said she had some pointers, but I haven't heard back from her yet. Besides, I never start packing until the last minute anyway.

I actually had a point in mind when I started this post and I wandered everywhere accept to the point.

The point was that I haven't posted in a while because I haven't been able to keep a thought in my head long enough to sit down and compose a post!

-Sandy(woman, thy name is DITZ!)